


How Not To Hide Magic

by TheDoctorIsIcecube



Category: Class (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Canon Gay Relationship, Developing Friendships, Fluff and Angst, Holding Hands, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-08-29 07:18:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8480614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDoctorIsIcecube/pseuds/TheDoctorIsIcecube
Summary: Charlie found out he was a mage when he was three years old. Now, thirteen years later, he's finally free of the captivity he was put into for his own safety. The only problem is it's not as nice as he was expecting, this outside world. Sixth form isn't like the institute for magic, no one even supports magic, and if anyone finds out it will be the end of his freedom forever. He has to stay away from people. He can't trust anyone.But then it all goes wrong: he makes friends and then he falls in love.





	1. To See What Is Hidden

April had been looking forward to the start of sixth form from about two weeks into year eleven, and now finally it was here. She’d been so excited about this all summer; she was prepared for everything, she’d taken part in a summer job and a summer school, and she was ready to make the new friends she’d never managed to connect with at secondary school. She had a new bag, new clothes, new everything- this would be a fresh start, something different. She would be someone different, and this year people would actually like her. She was determined to make it happen somehow. 

On her first day, she was sent to her tutor group. It was the Physics group, which was kind of sad, she wanted to be in the English Literature group. She imagined that the Physics group would just be full of a bunch of boys, even though that was probably a sexist way to think. A bunch of boys just trying to assert their dominance over each other.

Stepping inside the room, she saw that she was right. At least seventy percent boys, if not more. April took a seat at a desk next to one of the only other girls in the class, someone who looked strangely young. That was probably just her imagination, though. Now. Time to make friends.

“Hey,” she said, smiling brightly and leaning over towards the girl. “I’m April! I love your hair, by the way.” 

“Thanks,” the girl said, “I’m Tanya, it’s nice that there are some other girls here. I can’t deal with all these boys all the time.” She smiled back at April. She definitely looked quite young, and she hadn’t been in their year last year.

“Sorry if this comes across as rude, but are you new here?” April pulled her phone out of her pocket, ready to get this girl’s number if they actually hit it off. And then she’d have made a friend. If Tanya was new, maybe she wouldn’t know April’s reputation yet. 

“I came here from Charing Girls’ Grammar,” Tanya said. “They don’t really have any good Biology teachers at the moment and I couldn’t be bothered to wait two years for a decent A Level education.”

“Two years?” April frowned. “Are you saying you’re fourteen?” That would explain why Tanya looked young. It also meant that she was probably some sort of child genius, if she’d been allowed to skip two whole years. 

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter!” She said. “I’m still just as smart as anyone else in this room.”

“You’re probably smarter than me,” April said. “I’ve been at Coal Hill since I started secondary school and it’s definitely nothing fancy, unlike a grammar school.”

“Trust me. I haven’t been to any fancy schools.” Tanya frowned. “It’s not like I went to a private school or something. My family aren’t rich, I’m just smart.” She seemed very insistent on that, like she’d been told already that she wasn’t good enough to be here.

“I believe you,” she said. “I’ll come to you for help on any Physics homework, I’m sure.” Tanya smiled at that, so she’d clearly said the right thing.

“You’re the second person today to say that,” she said. Tanya glanced behind her to a boy busy texting someone on his phone, feet up on the desk, and April rolled her eyes in disgust. Somehow, she wasn’t at all surprised that Ram had already found someone to copy homework from. 

“I won’t be copying homework like Ram,” April said with a smile. She was surprised Ram had even passed an exam other than PE with all the effort he seemed to put into things (that being no effort at all), so she didn’t know how he’d ended up in Physics.

“He copies homework? Ugh…” Tanya shook her head, and then her eyes lit up. “Maybe I can get him to pay me in exchange for answers. Mum never gives me any money for new games…” 

April laughed. “We’ll see,” she said, looking towards the clock. They had ten minutes before the teacher would officially be late to their induction day. They hadn’t even told her who the teacher was until a couple of days ago. “Oh- can I get your number?”

She and Tanya had just finished exchanging numbers when someone else walked in- a boy who was somehow managing to look both painfully awkward and very confident all at once. “He’s kinda cute,” April murmured, quiet enough as to not be overheard by anyone except Tanya. 

“Don’t you recognise him?” Tanya asked, and April shook her head. He definitely wasn’t from Coal Hill, she’d never seen anyone who even looked like him before. He had a strange look about him, but it was probably just the nervousness. If he didn’t know anyone, she really couldn’t blame him for being anxious about it. To her surprise, he chose to sit directly behind her- perhaps this was an opportunity to make more new friends. He didn’t look half as intimidating as Ram and his football friends, so hopefully he wouldn’t be as much of a bully. 

“Hey,” she said, turning away from Tanya and towards him instead. “I’m April! Are you new here?” 

The boy jumped at her voice, and then nodded. “Yes. I’m Charlie,” he said. “I, um, I haven’t been to school before.”

“You’re homeschooled?” She asked. She’d never met anyone who was homeschooled before, probably because everyone she met was at school.

He blinked at the word ‘homeschooled’ like she’d just said ‘you’re a giant alien banana’ instead, and April wondered briefly if she’d said something wrong. But then he smiled, endearingly bright. “Yes. I’m homeschooled.” He checked his watch. “And our teacher is late…” 

As if summoned by his words, the teacher opened the door. April immediately knew that they were not going to get along, because this teacher had eyeliner so sharp she could probably kill someone with it. There was a frown on her face that looked permanent, and she shut the door loudly as she entered.

Dead silence fell across the room as she glared across the room at all of them, and April found herself staring very intently at a spot on her desk just so that she wouldn’t have to make eye contact. That alone would probably be enough to make this teacher hate her. 

“I hope you’re all having a wonderful morning being deprived from your usual laziness,” she said, and apparently that was her introduction, because she sat down at her desk without another word. April dared to look up, and the woman’s eyes were fixed on Charlie. “My name is Miss Quill, and I have been assigned as your Physics teacher and partial babysitter.”

“Um, we don’t need babysitting.” Apparently Tanya didn’t get the whole ‘this teacher will definitely kill you’ vibe, because she seemed more than willing to talk back. April sighed. It was a shame her new friend probably wouldn’t survive the first five minutes. 

“Oh, that’s a shame, because I’m rather determined to be paid for it, so you’ll have to deal with it, I’m afraid.” Miss Quill continued to scowl, her eyes fixed on Charlie even though she was talking to Tanya.

Charlie seemed totally unfazed by the attention. He just settled back in his seat, back very straight, and looked calmly back at Miss Quill. He looked like some sort of prince, he really did. She wondered if he knew how he was meant to act around teachers if he’d just been homeschooled all his life.

“I’m meant to do an icebreaker activity with you, but I believe we should wait until December when there’s some real ice, so just talk to each other until your planners and timetables get here,” she said, and if that wasn’t a mark of her being incredibly lazy April didn’t know what it was. Nonetheless,she didn’t really feel like arguing. So, she turned back to Charlie. 

“Did you see how she was staring at you?” April shuddered. “She’s creepy…why was she looking at you, do you know?”

"I don't think she likes me much," Charlie said, trying to look like he wasn't bothered about it at all. "I don't have actual GCSEs, maybe that's it? They had to talk about me a lot before I can't here."

"You don't have GCSEs?" April stared at him. For a sixth form student, that was like saying they didn't have a head. "What do you have instead? You must have something..."

"I, um," he smiled, and there was a slightly desperate look to it. "I haven't done any exams or anything before." He was weird, April decided. Thoroughly weird, and not entirely in a good way. But who was she to judge? Charlie must have proven himself somehow, or he wouldn't be in an A-level Physics class. She just smiled and nodded in answer to his statement, turning back to Tanya instead.

"Charles Smith," Miss Quill said, and although April couldn't see him, she heard him shift in his chair. "I need to speak to you outside for a moment."

That didn't sound good. April shot a nervous look at him, and he just smiled vaguely back in response as he stood up and walked quickly out of the door. "He's...weird," she whispered to Tanya.

Everyone fell silent for a moment to see if they could hear anything outside, but obviously they were speaking too quietly, and all the talking resumed quickly. She hoped Charlie was okay.

"Still think he's cute?" Tanya grinned smugly. "All the cute ones are either weird, already taken, or not interested. Trust me."

"He's still cute," April said. "He's just a bit different." She looked over to his empty desk where a pile of books sat. How did he have so many books before lessons even started? Maybe he was here for a special reason, something to do with his homeschooling most likely, and therefore Coal Hill had taken him in. It wouldn't be the first time. Coal Hill was known for...weird stuff, although usually the weird stuff pertained to disappearances and not odd students with too many books.

It wasn't really any of her business as to what was weird with Charlie, but she couldn't help being curious anyway. He seemed like he needed friends, though, so maybe she'd find out in time.


	2. Hope For Eventual Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie has his first day of a government standardised education.

As first days went, Charlie thought this one hadn't started too badly. Someone had talked to him, and even though Miss Quill seemed to have singled him out for being picked on, he'd dealt with worse in his time. He knew why she'd singled him out, of course. She was keeping an eye on him to make sure nothing went wrong. But that didn't mean it didn't make him uncomfortable, because it attracted attention to him that he didn't want.

It was something of a relief to finally get out of her classroom an hour later, checking his timetable to see where to go as he wandered a little absentmindedly down the corridor. Charlie was shocked back into reality though as someone bumped into him, hard, scattering the books he'd been carrying across the floor.

"Watch yourself!" The boy called, and Charlie turned around to see one of the boys from his tutor group. And then he moved on without helping him pick up all his stuff.

Well, that was rude. Charlie knelt down to gather everything back up, sighing when no one else stopped to help, either. It wasn't like he wasn't used to doing things alone, but it would have been nice if these people were a little kinder. He'd almost been expecting it, he supposed. Normal people had always been like this, but he'd sort of presumed it was because they knew he had magic. Not that they were just awful people by nature. Maybe he was wrong to want to live like a normal person.

Those sort of thoughts were just depressing, though- not the sort of things he wanted to be troubling himself with on a day like today. Not all of these new people were bad. April had been nice. She'd said hello, and she'd known when she was making him uncomfortable. And then, instead of pressing him on that, she just ignored it. She was the kind of person he wanted to know.

Maybe he'd make more friends in his classes today. Maybe April would be in one of them. According to his timetable, he was supposed to be in History right now. It took quite a bit of wandering, but he found it soon enough. He found somewhere to sit and glanced at the clock. He wasn't late and he wasn't too early either. He was pretty sure all the teachers knew about him as someone without the proper qualifications, but as long as he didn't draw too much attention to himself he'd be okay.

About five seconds before he would have been called late, another boy rushed into the classroom. Charlie vaguely recognised him from that morning- he'd been sitting behind the boy who shoved him in the corridor. To his surprise, he glanced around and then took a seat right next to Charlie.

"Good morning," he said. His voice had a heavy accent to it, something Charlie would guess was European but he honestly had no idea. "I saw you earlier?"

"I think I saw you too." Charlie managed a smile. "I'm Charlie. I'm, ah, new here." That was certainly one way to put it, but he'd heard other people say the same thing and it hadn't been questioned.

"I have been here two years before," the boy said, and Charlie didn't want to correct him. That might be rude, he didn't know. "My name is Matteusz."

Charlie didn't ask where he'd gone to school until two years ago, because that would probably prompt a similar question in response and he hadn't thought up a suitable lie for that yet. 'Locked in a secure facility until a couple of weeks ago' wasn't exactly a normal answer, after all. Homeschooled, that thing April had spoken about before, that seemed like a safe thing to say, but he didn't actually know what that was and he didn't feel comfortable saying it. He didn't even like lying, but he knew he had to.

Luckily, he was spared from having to make any further conversation by the arrival of their teacher. Charlie smiled at Matteusz, hoping to show he was willing to be friends, and then turned his attention to the front of the room. He'd always been interested in history, and he was so glad that he could now study it further than he had in the facility. Books had been his only access at that point, and they'd mostly been quite old. The idea of studying it most days in a week was plain exciting.

And just as he'd hoped, the lesson was far more interesting than anything that had been in the old books back where he'd used to live. Sure, it was going to be hard work, but it would be worth it.

By the end of the lesson, he was thoroughly encouraged that living like this was worth it. Freedom was worth it, even if there were a few people who weren't very nice. He'd spoken to Matteusz a little more during the lesson as well, and he was nice. He was more than nice. There was something about his smile that made Charlie's heart feel distinctly odd.

So now he had two friends, normal friends who didn't know anything about his magic or why he was here or what had happened to him. He'd missed having people to talk to during the last couple of weeks. Miss Quill didn't exactly make for great company, after all. She made a point to avoid him, and he did the same for her. She hated his guts, and he felt much the same.

But now, maybe things would change. He could have a friend, he could spend time with them, maybe they'd even trust him. Yes...things would definitely change. He could prove that he was normal, prove that he deserved to have friends, and everything would be okay.


	3. The Distance Is Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are lots of strange things about Charlie, April finds.

College wasn’t quite as different to school as April had hoped, but she found quickly that she didn’t mind all that much. She had more time to spend with her new friends and she didn’t have any lessons she hated anymore. And the best thing about having time to spend with friends was having time to spend with Charlie. He was a nice person, even if he was a little odd, and she still found him attractive. Although he did seem to be utterly oblivious to any attempts at flirtation, which was less good. But never mind. April could deal very happily with just having Charlie as a friend. 

The difficulty, though, was that he was strange; so ridiculously different that sometimes she wondered if he was even human.

“Charlie, could we exchange numbers?” She’d asked that on the third day she’d eaten lunch with him. She didn’t want to look like she was asking him out right away, but three days was safe enough to be friends.

“Numbers?” He sounded confused.

“Yeah. You know, phone numbers?” She held up her phone, expecting him to comprehend and go dig out his phone as well. But he didn’t. Charlie just continued to stare blankly at her, and April wondered if she’d said something really weird. Maybe she’d just started spontaneously speaking French or something, because there was no way Charlie couldn’t know what a phone number was. 

“Um,” he said, the clueless smile she was getting very familiar with appearing on his face. “I don’t have a phone.” April almost laughed at him, but that would be cruel. All his clothes and books were brand new, surely he had enough money for a phone.

“Oh,” she said, putting her own back in her pocket and wondering how to go about this conversation now. “Um…you could buy one. Unless your parents are those weird people who don’t like technology…no offence if they are,” she added hastily. 

Charlie looked upset for a moment, and she wondered if she’d just really badly offended him, but the moment passed and he smiled again. “I, well, I’m not sure I have the money,” he said. He really was strange, because it was clear that he was well off or at least getting all his stuff from somewhere.

“You could ask your parents?” He looked upset again, and April wondered if his parents were dead or something. “Or, um, whoever you live with. A phone is really important, you know. Tell them it’s something you need.” 

“Why is it important?” He asked. “All I see are people using them all the time. I never see people use it for important things.” April just looked at him. Didn’t he realise how important it was to be able to contact people easily?

“Well- yes, but you need to be able to talk to people. Especially if there’s an emergency. And you can plan things with your friends, too.” April smiled, and Charlie looked thoughtful before nodding and letting out a slight ‘hmm’. And that seemed to be the end of that discussion. 

There would always be other strange things about Charlie, things that April came to call missing parts from his life. It was like he’d lived in the middle of nowhere for the whole of his life.

“Why do people complain about homework?” He asked her one day after a particularly vicious rant from Miss Quill after someone briefly complained about being set so much homework in her class.

“I don’t know.” April shrugged.”Miss Quill does set rather a lot…she’s very strict about homework, too. Most teachers aren’t like that. And most people don’t like homework because they have other stuff they’d rather be doing.” 

“But there isn’t anything else to do,” he said, looking confused. “I just use homework for a break from reading.” Sometimes, April wished that she didn’t spend so much time with Charlie. It probably made her look like a really sad nerd.

“Most people,” she said carefully, hoping that she wasn’t being offensive, “have other things to do with their time. Like going out with friends, or talking to people on their phones. And I have to look after my mum a lot, which takes time away from when I can do homework…” 

“Oh, okay,” he said, but he really didn’t look like he understood any more than he had. April wondered if he hated his guardians for keeping him isolated from the world. She sort of hated the person who did that to him; it wasn’t right, and now he might struggle to fit in for the rest of his life. At least he’d acquired a phone now, and quite a good one- clearly whoever looked after him had been persuaded by the arguments April had given him to use. Either that, or he’d gone out and bought one himself. 

The problem, though, the biggest problem with Charlie, was his inability to pick up on her hints. She flirted with him as much as she could once she realised that he was a bit oblivious, but he still didn’t pick up on it. He was a great friend, but his smile...she felt a bit weak whenever he smiled at her.

And then, of course, Charlie decided to bring her crush crashing down around her.

“April,” he said thoughtfully in the middle of one lunchtime. “You know Matteusz in our Physics class? I was just wondering…is it normal that I can’t seem to stop thinking about him? We sit together in History and I always find myself smiling whenever he talks to me…”

That was when it clicked. Of course. Of course Charlie wasn’t returning her flirting. Of course he was entirely oblivious. Of course he didn’t respond in the way he was meant to when she tried everything she could to get him to understand her feelings. Of course.

All the cute boys had to be gay, didn’t they.

“Charlie…” She sighed. “It sounds to me like you’ve got a crush on him.” Predictably, he looked completely blank. “It means you like him romantically,” she explained. “Like, you want to hold hands and kiss him and do...other stuff. You know.” He didn’t look like he knew, but she wasn’t going to explain that to him.

“Ohh,” he said, and then he got this tiny happy smile on his face, and April felt like a terrible person for feeling bad that he didn’t have a crush on her. “What do I do?”

She was stuck there. She had no idea if Matteusz was gay; in fact, she’d only spoken to him a handful of times before. So she couldn’t tell Charlie to tell him because it might not be safe. She didn’t know all that much about Matteusz, but she did know that pretty much anyone would be able to beat Charlie up with one hand tied behind their back.

“Why don’t I go find out what he thinks of you?” That would be safer. Yes, it would require having to talk to someone who was almost a stranger, but it would be worth it if she could save Charlie from being beaten up.


	4. But It Can Be Crossed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April talks to Matteusz about how he feels about Charlie.

April wasn’t overly enthusiastic about having having to talk to a boy she’d never spoken to before, but she’d do it for Charlie. She cornered Matteusz in the corridor after Physics the day after she’d promised Charlie she’d talk to him, and greeted him with a cheery wave and a smile. “Hi, Matteusz!” This was already awkward, oh god. 

“Hello,” he said with a smile, and April could see a little why Charlie found him so attractive. He’d been around at Coal Hill for two years now but he’d always been a bit of an outsider. He still didn’t seem to have many friends. “You are April, yes?”

“That’s me.” She fidgeted with her hands, wondering how on earth to ask what she had to ask in order to get Charlie the information she needed. Matteusz was probably going to think she was some kind of creepy stalker after this if it went wrong. Maybe she should have thought this through before she came up to him. “I, um, I heard from someone that you were insulting Charlie behind his back.” That was awful and now Matteusz was going to think that someone hated him, which just wasn’t fair. Poor guy.

Matteusz immediately looked furious, which she wasn’t sure was a good sign or not. “Of course I am,” he said. “Charlie is my friend, so naturally I spend all my time talking about how not nice and not endlessly selfless he is.”

“R-right.” She still hadn’t found out if Matteusz liked boys. Damnit. “Um…well, I, um, I also heard that you like him. Romantically.” She tried to sound almost accusing, cringing internally at how bad she must be sounding. 

Matteusz started blushing, so maybe she hadn’t messed up too badly. “I-” he said, and then an expression of horror crossed his face. “You won’t tell anyone else, will you? Who told you? I thought no one knew.”

Well. At least she had an answer. “I promise I won’t tell anyone,” she said, crossing her fingers behind her back. She’d tell Charlie. Hopefully that wasn’t a bad thing, because Charlie liked him, too. She was just doing them both a service.

“Thank you,” he said, and he looked so grateful. April wondered why he was so afraid and hoped that this wouldn’t put him in too much danger. She knew that some people were completely intolerant about their children being gay, but hopefully Charlie and Matteusz would be safe.

Just as she was about to leave, she looked round to see Matteusz again. She thought back to how she’d seen him alone almost every day since his first day at Coal Hill over two years ago. After the first two or three days, people lost interest in him. “Matteusz, do you want to sit with me, Tanya and Charlie at lunch?”

His face lit up, and April could definitely see why Charlie found him so attractive. That was the definition of a perfect smile. “I would love to,” he said, and April smiled too. It was always nice knowing she’d made someone’s day. 

“Great,” she said, and his smile didn’t fade at all. “We usually sit somewhere in the canteen, just wait for us or get a table if we’re not there.”

If she’d thought she’d made Matteusz’s day when she’d suggested that he sit with them at lunch, she had been wrong. She’d possibly made both his day and Charlie’s year, because the look on his face when Matteusz came to sit with them was priceless, and they immediately started talking. April just shared a look with Tanya, who rolled her eyes and mouthed ‘gay’.

-

Really, though, breaking her promise to Matteusz was totally worth it when she saw Charlie’s face when she said she thought Matteusz liked him too. She was starting to not mind that Charlie was way too gay to be with her, because she could see how he would fit with Matteusz. It seemed like it would be good for both of them, because Matteusz still didn’t have any friends after the two years he’d been at the school. And it was nice to do things for people. It was nice to see Charlie grin, and to let him hug her for being such a good friend, as he put it. He’d only recently learned about hugs, it seemed, and he was definitely very enthusiastic about them. 

“I want to ask him to be my boyfriend,” he said, and the shy smile had returned. Charlie always smiled when he talked about Matteusz, every time without fail. Usually it was a small smile, but when she’d told him about how she thought his feelings were returned, it was the happiest she’d ever seen him. “But I don’t know how.”

“Um…” April had never asked anyone out before. She had no idea what to suggest, really. “I guess you should just go talk to him about it? Ask him if he wants to go on a date with you or something.” 

“What would we do on a date?” He asked. April wondered if he should really be dating someone if he didn’t know what a date actually was. Maybe Charlie, innocent as he was, wasn’t ready to have a relationship. Especially not with a boy. She didn’t like to make a big deal about it, they were in London, but Matteusz had seemed afraid of being outed. She presumed that was what it was.

“Well, you spend time together,” she said, pretending that she’d actually even been on a date before. “It’s a bit like just going out with friends, but it’s just the two of you, and you get to know each other and share experiences together. I guess it can be anything if you look at it like that.”

“Riiiight,” Charlie said slowly. “That doesn’t sound too hard, I suppose. I presume I should ask him when we’re alone. That seems like a bit of a strange question to ask in class.” April nodded, pleased that Charlie seemed to be learning a little bit of social etiquette. Finally. Trying to steer him out of the pitfall that was arguing with Ram during classes was difficult enough, and the amount of time he spent holding doors for people was utterly ridiculous. He was either way too polite or he had no sense of the fact that other people existed in the world.

Maybe spending time with someone else, someone like Matteusz, would help him understand society a little more. Getting another view, another opinion. That would probably help him, and her happiness about that (and about Charlie and Matteusz's happiness) far outweighed her jealousy towards Matteusz because of that silly crush.


	5. To Bring Great Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie asks Matteusz the all important question.

Charlie had used his phone a lot more over the past couple of days. He’d been using it to find out everything he possibly could about romance and dating and all that sort of thing, and he thought he had a pretty good grasp on everything by now. He’d even made notes in the swirling, magic script that he’d grown up using, and now it was time to actually talk to Matteusz and put all of his research to good use.

“Good morning!” He got to the canteen before April and Tanya on purpose, hoping he’d have enough time to talk to Matteusz before they arrived. “I, um,” and suddenly his tongue felt dry and heavy. He’d planned it all out, he had a rough script and everything, but now he couldn’t bring himself to say a single word.

“Is not morning,” Matteusz said, doing that grin that made Charlie’s heart clench. “Half past twelve. Good afternoon to you too.” He patted the seat next to him, and Charlie gladly sat down. Any excuse to not have to stand up and risk his legs shaking embarrassingly. 

“I, um, I wanted to, uh, I wanted to ask you something.” He could feel magic lurching in his chest along with his heartbeat, which was probably the worst possible time for it to decide to come up. “Um, d-do you want to, um…”

“Do I want to what?” Matteusz grinned at him, looking thoroughly amused by the look on Charlie’s face. “You know you are blushing, Charlie? What are you trying to ask from me?” 

"Will you- I mean." This was going so badly. Even if Matteusz had been attracted to him before he wouldn't be now he'd seen how incompetent he was. Charlie quietly damned his upbringing. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?" That was all wrong. That was nothing like what he'd put on the script. But he'd said it.

Matteusz sat back slightly when Charlie asked his question, his expression unreadable. Charlie thought he saw something like happiness, but there was no way of knowing, oh god, he'd messed up-

"Of course I will." Matteusz smiled, and then he grinned, and a Charlie felt a grin spreading across his own face as well. "How long have you been wanting to ask? I see you looking at me for ages now."

"I, um," he said, still unable to find any words. He was so happy. Matteusz wanted him, wanted him for who he was (just probably not the whole him, he told himself), and he could barely say a word.

"You're cute," Matteusz said, and Charlie knew he must be red as a tomato right now. "I would kiss you, but there are too many people. Later, maybe?"

"I-I've never kissed anyone before," he said, expecting Matteusz to think twice about being with him, but instead all he received was a smile.

"I didn't expect you to have any experience," he said. "I want you for you." He really, really should tell Matteusz about the magic. But it would ruin everything. "And," Matteusz added, "I will be very happy to teach you how to kiss. As much time as it takes, I will spend on you." He was still grinning, and Charlie didn't know what to say. Why was someone as perfect as Matteusz attracted to someone like him?

He still couldn't say a word of thanks, but he reached out and took Matteusz's hand under the table. It was impractical and would make it harder to eat lunch, but it was nice. Matteusz's hand was cold. "You're warm," he murmured, and that cold hand squeezed Charlie's tight and sent another surge of happiness through him. He was about to respond when April and Tanya walked in, and they were definitely going to notice that something was different, weren't they.

April would be happy for him, he knew, and none of it would have been possible if she hadn't talked to Matteusz for him. Tanya always seemed to think he was weird, though, and maybe she'd think the same of this.

"Hi, guys!" April greeted them both, cheery as usual, apparently not noticing anything unusual. Tanya, however, was much sharper. 

"You two are holding hands under the table," she stated matter-of-factly, sitting down and pulling her lunch out of her bag.

"Yes!" April grinned at both of them, immediately checking that they were in fact holding hands. "That's so great!" Charlie had to smile at her enthusiasm. April was always so supportive, such a good friend. She never judged him for his lack of understanding of anything.

He really needed to tell his friends, his boyfriend, the truth. They had to know the real story, but at the same time he was so scared that if he did he would lose them. If he didn't tell them they might be in danger; if he did, they'd probably be in even more. He wouldn't tell them now, not in the middle of the canteen. Someone would probably scream, and he didn't want to ruin this happy day when Charlie was still holding Matteusz's hand under the table and feeling his thumb stroking over his own, and things were good.

-

Things were good, but things didn't last. Once lunch had ended and they were all off to their separate lessons, Charlie could feel the magic inside him getting stronger. It had been upset by his nervousness and then his happiness and now he didn't know what to do. He could usually tell when it was about to do something bad, and right now he knew he had less than five minutes before something went wrong, so he didn't even bother with an excuse. He just picked up his bag and ran out of the classroom, ignoring the confusion of his teacher and classmates.

He had no idea where to go. There was nowhere to go to just let out magic here, it wasn't like the facility where every other room was a guarded room, specially designed so people could vent their magic. He had nowhere and he knew he had only a few minutes. He had to be somewhere deserted.

With what was essentially a time bomb ticking away inside of him, Charlie ran to the nearest bathroom and gasped out a spell to lock the door shut behind him so that no one else would come in. All the stalls were empty- now it was just a matter of waiting and trying not to break too much it happened. He stayed as far away from the mirrors as possible, just in case.

He pressed himself against the cold tiles of the wall, for once not caring how disgusting all the bathrooms were. He pressed his fingers against his temples and just hoped. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad of an outburst. They varied in intensity- the last one he'd had ended up as barely more than a few puffs of smoke, but he'd torn down doors and exploded through walls before. He'd...he'd hurt people before, if they were in the vicinity. And he'd hurt people by collapsing afterwards and losing control again. That hurt him, too. Sometimes having magic was awful (honestly, it had been awful his whole life).

Charlie knew it was coming soon, any second now- he wrapped his arms around himself, eyes closed tightly, and Just waited to see how much destruction there would be when the dust cleared. They were always blank spots for him, things that were meant to be there but weren't. Not quite black spots in his mind, but something different, something even scarier. He thought, after that sudden odd time jump that always happened, that it hadn't lasted too long. But there was only one way to find out. Heart racing, Charlie opened his eyes.

There was blood on the floor in front of him and he almost managed to get himself into another outburst just from the fear when he saw it. His head was spinning as he tried to work out what had happened and his eyes felt heavy.

He managed to stand up and look around, and winced. The two mirrors closest to him were smashed to pieces, shards of glass flung all over the room. Several were scattered around where he'd been sitting, blood lining their edges, and now that he looked down there were small cuts littering his arms. Okay. This wasn't too bad. There was nothing he could do about what had happened, broken glass was absolutely impossible to fix with magic, especially after an outburst like that, and he could clean the cuts but not heal them. That was good enough.

Charlie stumbled to the sink, running some cold water to start rinsing out those cuts on his arms. Thankfully there was no glass stuck in them- he was squeamish at the best of times, and picking things out of open wounds was not how he wanted to spend his time. As he did it, he mumbled a short spell to try and clean the floor up a bit. It would look awfully suspicious if all the glass was collected on a surface, but if there was no blood it could be blamed on something else.

With his arms cleaned out and his sleeves rolled down to hide the cuts, Charlie decided to head home for the day. That way he could avoid any awkward questions from his teacher, or anyone else who saw him. And maybe he could text Matteusz. He hadn't tried texting anyone yet. It would come up on his attendance that he'd skipped a lesson, there was one more today, but he was so exhausted he wasn't sure he could even go through another lesson. He knew Matteusz was already home, so maybe they could talk. Maybe they could just meet up and talk and Charlie could feel better about himself. Or they could just text. That worked too.

He decided to just hope that Quill didn't pick up on what had happened. She was registered as his guardian, so she'd be told about it, but maybe he could just email and say he'd experienced a panic attack or something. But then they'd want to know about that.

He'd work something out later, Charlie told himself. He got home safely, setting his bag carefully down next to his bed and taking his phone out. Matteusz would help cheer him up, no doubt about that.

'Hey,' he texted, hoping that was okay. Was he meant to text hi instead? Or was that too informal? He didn't know. Matteusz was his boyfriend, but he had no idea how to text him or what to say.

'Hey :)' The response was almost immediate, followed soon after by another text. 'Thought you had more lessons today?? Are you skipping class?'

'Something happened + I'm really tired now, went home early' he wrote, debating whether to send it or not. Matteusz was bound to ask what happened. He just couldn't say.

He sent the text anyway, deciding that he could make something up if it became necessary. Charlie waited anxiously for a response, breathing a sigh of relief at what came. 'Do you want me to come over? No talking about what happened unless you want to'

'Please,' he wrote, and then he remembered Quill. She wouldn't like it if Matteusz was here. 'You'll have to leave before by guardian gets home, though.'

'No problem,' came the response. 'Text me your address, I'll get going now.' Charlie did just that, and then went downstairs to wait for Matteusz. His boyfriend. That felt so strange to say, but at the same time absolutely wonderful.


	6. That Secret Hidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matteusz comes to see Charlie but it doesn't go according to Charlie's plan.

Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang. Charlie practically leapt off the chair he'd been perched on, breaking into a smile when he saw Matteusz. Exactly the person he'd needed to make him feel better, he could tell already.

"Are you okay?" He asked immediately, stepping inside. "Is okay for me to be here?" Charlie checked his watch and then nodded. Quill wouldn't be back for another two hours or so, she hated being in the flat.

He reached out to take Matteusz's hand, and then found himself being pulled into a tight hug. Not that he minded. Hugs were nice in general- he'd never had one from Matteusz before, but he was quickly deciding that this was his favourite kind of hugs. Matteusz was a lot taller than him. Normally when he was around normal people that just intimidated him, but it was different with Matteusz. He was warm, and it was nice to have someone hold him while he honestly felt like he was going to fall over with exhaustion.

"You look tired," Matteusz murmured, stroking Charlie's hair with one gentle hand. "Is not best first date, but we could go to your room and lie together? You need rest, I think."

"I'm okay," he said, and even though he was exhausted he was definitely used to it. It wasn't a sleep kind of exhausted, he was just drained of magic, but Matteusz wouldn't be able to understand that.

"Take me to your room anyway?" Matteusz sounded hopeful, and Charlie supposed there was more to do up there than down here, so he reluctantly pulled away from the hug and led the other boy upstairs to his bedroom. It wasn't anything terribly special yet; he'd barely had a chance to decorate it in between how busy he'd been. The only thing was all his notes for college, which were written in the language he was used to using. Hopefully Matteusz wouldn't go snooping around all his stuff.

Thankfully, snooping didn't seem to be high on Matteusz's list of priorities. What was higher up, it seemed, was pulling Charlie down onto his bed and wrapping arms tightly around him again. Sure, he wasn't really in need of rest, but this was a position he definitely wasn't about to complain about. "Tell me about you," Matteusz said. His voice was so gentle and this was so alien and Charlie just didn't know what to say.

"Um..." Not the most eloquent of responses, but Charlie was rather lost for words here. He didn't really know where to start- perhaps if he acted confused for long enough, Matteusz would elaborate.

"I do not know things about you," he said. "We are together, but all I know is you are strange and have not been to school before."

"Thanks," Charlie said, letting out a small huff at being called strange. He wasn't terribly offended, though- he knew he wasn't normal. "I...um...I like to read." That was true, at least. He loved books.

"I know," Matteusz said with a short laugh. "Every time I see you, you have a new book." He wasn't wrong. Being out of the facility meant he could do anything with his spare time. Anything at all, and that meant he had so much time for reading.

"Literature is amazing, though." Charlie found himself smiling suddenly, enthused by the new topic. "There are so many good authors, and so much-" He cut himself off, because Matteusz was staring at him with a look he hadn't seen before. "What?"

"You're adorable..." Immediately, Charlie could feel that he was blushing. Before, the sensation had always been unwelcome, but now it was just him and Matteusz he didn't really mind. "Can I kiss you?"

"What? U-um, I suppose so." Charlie hadn't done kissing before, he had no idea what he was supposed to do. He felt Matteusz's hand on his face, tipping his head up a little, and then there were lips on his and his brain kind of froze up a little. He didn't know what he was doing and he was very glad that his magic was completely exhausted, because if it hadn't been something definitely would have happened. Matteusz had very warm lips and warm hands and he was so gentle even though he was so large.

After maybe ten seconds, Matteusz pulled away, staying close and resting his forehead against Charlie's. "You are not bad, considering you have never kissed other boy before."

"I haven't kissed anyone before," he said. He'd never felt this way about anyone before. Matteusz must just be special.

"You do not mind if I kiss you again?" Charlie shook his head vigorously, this time closing his eyes as Matteusz kissed him. That made it feel even better somehow, and he felt like perhaps he was getting used to this now- if he just followed what Matteusz did, that was easy.

He wanted to stay like this forever. He was still exhausted, he couldn't deny that, but he felt so much better with Matteusz here next to him. He didn't regret having to skip lessons. Not at all.

They'd been kissing for maybe a minute or two when Charlie suddenly felt hands trailing up his arms, pressing on the cuts he'd gotten earlier. He pulled away out of instinct, and then bit his lip as he realised that there was probably no good way to explain his behaviour now.

"Charlie?" Matteusz sounded so concerned that Charlie just wanted to cry, or at least just tell him that everything was okay. "Did I hurt you?"

"No! No, I'm fine." Charlie drew his arms in close to him, which only seemed to attract more suspicion from Matteusz. "Honestly. I'm fine. Kiss me again?"

"I do not want to hurt you," he said. He looked so upset that Charlie supposed he had no choice, but he wasn't prepared. He didn't know what to say.

Matteusz reached out and took his arm, and Charlie let him. He looked down at his lap as his boyfriend rolled up his sleeve, only looking up when he'd been silent for a good five seconds. "Charlie...did you do this to yourself?" Matteusz looked genuinely worried, and it hurt Charlie's heart.

"No, no! I..." He had technically done it to himself. It was his magic that caused the accident, but he had no idea if he'd done anything to put himself in danger during the blank spot. "It was glass, and an accident."

"Is someone else hurting you?" Matteusz still looked worried. "I will hurt them too if you want me to. Just say who is it."

"No, no, it's okay," he said. "It was an accident." He didn't know what to say or how to lie or even if he could lie himself out of this one. He didn't even know if he wanted to. He shouldn't tell, because if he told Matteusz it made it so much more likely that he would get caught.

"Accidents do not do this," Matteusz said firmly. He reached for Charlie's hand, looking him straight in the eye with so much concern that a Charlie just couldn't lie. "Please tell the truth now."

"Please don't hate me," he said. He couldn't believe that he was about to do this. He was going to tell Matteusz the truth and he really, really shouldn't. It was so dangerous. "Please. It's...it's not a nice truth."

"I want to hear it anyway." It was clear that Matteusz was expecting him to say he'd been attacked or he'd self-harmed or something else like that- anything but what Charlie was about to tell him.

"I'm a mage," he said. He felt like he was about to faint from fear. Matteusz could easily go to court and say he'd been coerced using magic. He could get money from the government for that. "And I accidentally broke two mirrors in the bathroom."

Matteusz didn't immediately get up and run, which was good. He didn't even pull away. He just sat there, frowning a little, as if figuring out what to say. The silence went on for so long that Charlie wanted to speak again, but Matteusz did before he got the chance. "That is not what I was expecting...is not necessarily bad thing, though."

"It's illegal," he murmured. "I'm not allowed to be here. I'm not allowed a state education. I'm not allowed property of my own. They might even be looking for me."

"Hmm." Matteusz still didn't pull away. Charlie stayed frozen, as if one movement would break the spell and make Matteusz come to his senses and run. "Maybe you are illegal...but you are also cute."

Charlie couldn't stop himself. He kissed Matteusz full on. Stupid idiot who didn't understand things. Attractive stupid idiot who didn't understand the situation he'd just landed himself in. Apparently that was the right thing to do, because Matteusz's hands flew up to keep his head close again, one curling in his hair as the other stroked over his cheek. Such immense relief was flooding through Charlie that he didn't feel shy anymore- he just wanted Matteusz close, because Matteusz accepted him.

"I hope you know what this means..." Charlie said once he'd pulled away. Even if it meant that Matteusz never spoke to him again, he needed him to know what it meant for the both of them.

"Apparently it means you are dangerous, you should be locked up, so on." Matteusz sighed, rolled his eyes. "I don't think you need to be locked up. I would like you to be here instead."

"I am dangerous," he said. He probably shouldn't be saying this to Matteusz, the person who held his freedom in his hands. "I hurt myself when I lost control today."

"Do you want me to hate you? Because I will not. Do not talk about what you think is wrong. I want to hear no more." With those firm words, Charlie found himself being kissed again, and he decided it would be better not to argue anymore. Matteusz accepted him. That was all that mattered, at least for now.


	7. Matteusz Comes Out of the (Literal) Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quill comes home and Matteusz has to hide while she and Charlie talk about what happened.

Charlie hadn't realised just how easy it was to lose track of time until he heard the front door rattle to signify that Quill had returned. "Shit," he muttered, lifting his head from where Matteusz had helpfully provided a pillow. "Now you'll need to go without her seeing."

"I could go through window?" Matteusz shifted himself out from under Charlie, and he lamented the loss of the warmth. "If it is safe."

“We’re on the second floor,” he said, keeping his voice low. Once he’d been on the phone to April and Quill had burst in, thinking he was casting a complicated spell.

“I cannot sneak past her downstairs,” Matteusz said, and he was probably right. He wasn’t exactly a small, inconspicuous person, and besides, it would be hard to sneak even a spider past Quill.

“You could hide in the wardrobe?” He suggested. She normally went out within an hour of coming back in and she only ever briefly checked that Charlie hadn’t set up any rituals on his bedroom floor (as if he wouldn’t be able to do that whenever he wanted to without her knowing). Matteusz started laughing quietly. “What’s so funny?” Charlie frowned, tilting his head curiously to one side. He didn’t understand so much of what most people considered to be normal pop culture, so whatever Matteusz found so amusing had gone right over his head. 

“Is a phrase,” he said, still trying to stifle his laughter. “That someone who is gay, when they tell people, that they are coming out of the closet.” He grinned at Charlie, making his way towards the wardrobe. Now he looked, he wasn’t sure that Matteusz would even fit.

“You have some strange phrases…” He headed over to the wardrobe with Matteusz, opening it up and frowning. “Maybe if I clear this out a little, you’ll be able to fit…” Charlie took out a stack of shirts and a couple of pairs of trousers, pushing a jacket to the side to make just about enough room for someone about Matteusz’s size to hopefully fit into. 

“Thank you,” he said, and he didn’t really seem put out at all by being asked to just sit in a wardrobe for a while, even though it looked very cramped and he looked very silly as he sat there with his knees pulled up to his chest.

“It won’t be long, I promise.” He couldn’t promise anything, really, but he hoped it wouldn’t be too long.

“I would sit in a cupboard for several hours for you,” Matteusz said, and somehow that was the sweetest thing Charlie had heard all day. “I would expect reward at the end of it, though.” He grinned, and Charlie grinned back and shut the door of the cupboard. He left it open a crack so that fresh air could circulate, and quietly murmured to Matteusz that he could text him if it got too uncomfortable in there. 

Within ten minutes, Quill was up in the room, checking that he hadn’t spread salt all over the floor, lit any candles, or painted magic signs on any of the walls. All entirely unnecessary things for a spell, though salt worked surprisingly well as a substitute for just about any solid item in a ritual.

“You left early today,” she said, and from the way she said it, Charlie could tell she knew exactly why he’d gone home early.

“I did,” he said carefully. “Sorry. I’m not badly hurt or anything, in case you cared.” It was clear from the look on her face that she didn’t. Unsurprisingly. There was plenty of mutual hatred between them both.

“There are two shattered mirrors in the girl’s bathrooms in the English corridor,” she said, and Charlie almost died of embarrassment. He had been in the wrong bathrooms. “I imagine that you are responsible for that?”

“I didn’t mean to break them. You know I can’t control what happens. Anyway, the school can replace the mirrors, it won’t cost that much.” Charlie glared at Quill. “I’m not paying for them out of my money, before you suggest that.” 

“There would be no way for you to do that,” she said. “I just want to warn you that if you just start losing control all the time, people will start to suspect you and nothing I can do will save you.”

“I know,” he said sharply. “You’ve said this before. Are you done lecturing me now?” Quill gave him a disgusted look, and then shook her head slightly and stalked out of the room, predictably leaving the door open. Charlie sighed and shut it, then went to go free Matteusz from his cupboard. 

“Was that Miss Quill?” Matteusz asked, and the expression on his face was one that Charlie didn’t know how to read. How did he answer a question like that? It was Miss Quill, and Matteusz had recognised her voice, but he didn’t think he could describe what had happened between them.

“Yes,” he said eventually, because he didn’t want to be lying to Matteusz. “She’s my, um, my legal guardian. Not my mother,” he said hastily. “Definitely not. But…she looks after me. It’s a long story…” 

“I will not ask,” he said. “There are things for you, and they are your life. Not mine.” He smiled and sat down on the bed, stretching his legs out in front of him. Charlie was overcome by an urge to kiss him. Why was he just so understanding? Thankfully, the urge to kiss Matteusz wasn’t one that he had to resist anymore, so Charlie gladly climbed up next to him and did just that. It was so nice to be understood, and to have someone accept him the way Matteusz did. Charlie felt like he’d do anything just to show how grateful he was- something told him that Matteusz wouldn’t ask very much of him, though. 

“Thank you so much,” he said between kisses. Telling Matteusz the truth had been terrifying, but when he was accepted it was probably the best thing he’d ever felt. It was hope, so much more hope than he had ever experienced in his life. Hope that he would be able to live as he did now forever. Maybe he could stay free.

“Is nothing to thank me for,” Matteusz said back. He didn’t have anything else to say, going straight back to kissing before Charlie could even try to attempt a response, and honestly, he didn’t care. He’d let himself get caught up in his new boyfriend, he’d do whatever Matteusz wanted to do. 

It was hard to believe that he had only asked Matteusz to be his boyfriend a few hours ago. It felt like too much had happened since then, but it was probably just the exhaustion and the blank spots that provided the illusion. Every time he thought about it he just got this rush of happiness and he wanted to just smile all the time.

After a while longer with Matteusz, Charlie felt himself getting tired. It was the sort of drained, unstoppable tiredness that always hit like a truck on days when he lost control. He hadn't realised that he'd closed his eyes until Matteusz tapped him gently. "Charlie, are you okay?" He asked. Charlie could only nod, too tired for words.

They'd ended up tangled together on Charlie's bed, and now Charlie dropped his head, resting against Matteusz's chest and feeling more waves of exhaustion flood through him. He wanted to explain, but he really didn't have the energy.

"I can stay," Matteusz said, lifting his hands to Charlie's hair. "I told my parents I was going somewhere with a friend." Charlie just let out a tired hum in agreement, succumbing to the heaviness spreading through his limbs and shutting his eyes again.

He didn't like to sleep when other people were around most of the time. They used to share rooms at the facility, but he always had nightmares and he hurt people while he slept. And then after he'd suffered an outburst he hated being around people, even though he couldn't hurt them as his magic was exhausted. But Matteusz was different. Here, he felt relaxed. Here, right now, he felt like he might even belong.


	8. Staying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matteusz decides to stay a little longer and him and Charlie have an important discussion.

He was asleep before he knew it, and Matteusz was staying with him. Charlie didn't know how long he slept, but he knew that when he woke, Matteusz was pressed up against his back and it was dark outside the window.

Even though he was still slightly blurry from all the magic exhaustion, he immediately felt panic leap in his chest. "I'm so sorry!" He said. "I didn't mean to keep you."

"Mmh...wha...?" There were the sounds of tired stirring from behind Charlie, and then strong arms wrapped around him. "Don't worry...I was almost asleep too."

"It's late," he said, knowing that Matteusz already knew that. Anyone could see that. "Do you need to get home?"

"It will antagonise my parents if I say I was with a boyfriend," Matteusz said, and Charlie could hear the smile in his voice despite the negative statement.

"So...are you staying?" Charlie turned over to face Matteusz, a grin spreading across his face at the sight of the other boy's tousled hair and sleepy eyes.

He couldn't stop himself from kissing Matteusz very quickly, and he was glad he did, because Matteusz matched his smile in an instant. "It seems I am."

"Good." Charlie scooted forwards into his embrace, loving the way Matteusz was so warm and soft. He felt safe like this, oddly safe considering the short amount of time they'd been together.

It suddenly crossed his mind that Matteusz could be doing something to him to make him feel this way, something bad, but he dismissed it immediately. He didn't need to worry. He shouldn't worry. This was Matteusz. He could trust him. And he didn't even have magic, and there was no human way of altering emotions, he was pretty sure. It was just happiness, it had to be. That was why he felt so safe. He was happy for once in his life.

"Do you think I deserve to be happy?" He asked, immediately regretting the question. What if Matteusz said no? What if he was offended by the question? He'd probably spent his whole life being taught that magic people didn't deserve to be happy.

"What?" Matteusz frowned at him, as if he'd just asked something incredibly obvious, and Charlie sighed and braced himself for disappointment. "Of course you do...why would you not deserve happiness?"

Charlie just looked at him. He blinked, and Matteusz was still looking, frowning at the idea that he didn't think he deserved happiness. He looked away and then he looked back again. He must have imagined that. He must have. No one had ever said that before. "What?" Matteusz looked concerned now. "I do not understand...do you not think you deserve to be happy? Because I know that you do deserve it..."

"Normal people hate mages," Charlie said, indicating Matteusz and then himself. "Because we're wrong. We hurt people."

"You have not hurt me." He wasn't wrong there, Charlie had to admit. "You are good person. I know it. So you deserve to be happy."

"I discovered my magic at six," Charlie said, "and the people at the facility beat me and starved me so when my parents came to visit me it was an instinct to just...lash out. I haven't heard from them since, but I broke three bones in my father's body."

Matteusz stared at him in horror, and Charlie was sure he'd see the truth now. But no- instead, Charlie found himself being hugged tighter. "Is not your fault. You were child, and they hurt you..."

"I-" He stopped himself before he told the truth. He couldn't bring himself to tell Matteusz about that, however awful it made him. "It wasn't their fault."

"Is the fault of the people who beat you," Matteusz said firmly. "You would not hurt people like that without reason. I know it."

He would gladly kill Miss Quill for what she had done, but again, he kept silent. Matteusz didn't need to know the whole situation. It just made it more dangerous for him. "If you say so," he murmured, and he pulled back to kiss Matteusz. Someone who believed that he deserved happiness deserved all of Charlie's affection.

"I do," he said. "I know how it feels to be told I am wrong." He smiled at Charlie in an encouraging way, but really it just looked sad. Charlie thought about how Matteusz had once mentioned that his parents were religious.

"Who's told you that you're wrong?" He could guess, but...he wanted the full story. He wanted to know exactly who had hurt Matteusz, and why.

"My parents. They say that being gay is wrong...I know better, but is still hard." Matteusz looked so sad in that moment. Charlie hugged him a little tighter.

"You're definitely not wrong. This isn't wrong." Being here, feeling happier than he had in years... There was no way that any sane person could describe this as wrong. "This is the happiest I have been in living memory," he said. He meant it. Being in the facility was a constant drain on all his emotions and even just leaving there made him feel dizzyingly free. Doing this felt like he was sticking a knife into the Prime Minister's sensitive areas in comparison to leaving the facility.

"Good." Matteusz kissed him again, and Charlie closed his eyes and relaxed into it. He loved the passion and the sweetness behind kisses- it was a unique experience, being kissed, and one that he was sure he was getting addicted to. At the moment there were a thousand other things he should be worrying about more than kissing Matteusz, but that didn't mean he cared. He was such a caring, beautiful form of escapism. It was late, and he should be asleep, but he'd rather be doing this. He'd rather be feeling Matteusz's lips on his and warm hands stroking over his back and sides, because how could anything else ever compare to this.

"Why has the world treated you so cruelly?" Matteusz asked, his voice low as he continued to run his soft fingers down his back. He was so gentle. "You deserve so much more."

"I don't," Charlie insisted, and Matteusz cut him off with a kiss before he could say anything else. 

"You do. You deserve as much happiness as anyone without magic. Maybe even more."

"I've done more bad than you'll ever do in your life," he said. Matteusz wouldn't hurt a fly, and that wasn't just him coining a strange phrase. If Matteusz thought a table had nerves he wouldn't bash his head on it in Physics.

"You'd be surprised," Matteusz said, frowning a little. "But that is not the point. I want for you to be happy, because you deserve it. I would like to make you happy..."

"You make me happy," he said. "And you will never need to do any more for me than this."

"And if I want to do more?" Matteusz's smile was playful, a sure sign that he was teasing him.

"Go ahead," he said, and he'd never been more sure about a single sentence in his life.

"A bold statement," Matteusz teased, kissing him just once. "You're cute...very cute." A few more kisses. Charlie decided he rather liked being treated this way, being complimented and kissed like this. He knew that, at some point, this would have to end. Matteusz would go home and he'd be alone in his room again, but that wasn't such a terrifying prospect anymore.

For now, he was safe, sharing kisses and touches and enjoying the company of someone incredibly attractive and endlessly sweet. Really, he couldn't ask for much more than that.


	9. Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matteusz and Charlie talk about Charlie's past.

Charlie spent the next few days being the happiest he ever had been. Having people for company was the best thing ever, and having Matteusz was incredible. He loved spending time with him every day, no matter what they were doing. Sometimes they kissed, sometimes they worked, sometimes they just sat together and read books. It was wonderful. His old life seemed like some distant dream, some place where he had been trapped and unhappy, so far from this new reality where he was cared for, where people liked him.

Other than Quill, of course, Quill would probably never like him. She forced him to pay for the mirror through an 'anonymous donation' to the school, which was nothing except humiliating. He hated how she could force him into everything. Although, really, he had just as much power over her. If it got out what she'd done, she would be arrested just as fast as he would be.

The problem was that now he valued his freedom. His freedom was worth so much more to him now that it had meaning and he had a tangible future with someone who cared about him. Someone who knew the truth, even. Okay, so maybe they hadn't exactly been together for long. Maybe thinking about the future was unreasonable. But Matteusz liked him. He really did. They spent lots of time together, and Charlie had found that being with him made his magic sit further away from exploding at any moment. When Matteusz was around, he could relax, because for the first time, his magic realised that someone wasn't a threat.

The only problem was that Quill didn't know about it yet. She probably wouldn't approve of him having a boyfriend, for whatever reason. She didn't approve of him having friends, in case he got himself caught and then told the police about her. She'd seen him eating lunch with people and had actually told him to stop in case he lost control around them. Charlie hadn't stopped, of course, with a rather acidic reminder that if she interfered in his life, he could turn her in. She didn't bother him, and he didn't bother her.

The prospect of her knowing that he had reasons to stay out in the real world was absolutely terrifying. He knew that she would do anything to make his life as miserable as possible, because she hated mages. She hated mages more than anything else alive or dead, which was good for her, because if she wasn't on constant watch for him using magic, he would have killed her already.

Charlie had a feeling that Matteusz was equally keen for their relationship to stay secret. As he'd said one evening, curled up next to Charlie, his parents weren't the sort to approve of a relationship like this. In more than one way. Like most adults who feared for their children, Charlie imagined that Matteusz's parents hated mages because of the threat they posed. There was a reason they were systematically oppressed, and that was because the voters wanted it. And, on an even more fundamental level than the fact that he used magic, he was a boy. And so was Matteusz.

He never understood why that was considered bad. Matteusz wanted to keep it quiet, and he understood that. He understood it in the same way that Matteusz understood that they couldn't talk about his magic in public. There were a lot of things that they couldn't talk about, really. So many things were taboo in this society. Honestly, it was a little strange.

As terrible as the institution had been, they were always open about how they felt about everything, especially to each other. They were even open with some of the staff, at least some people were, though Charlie had always distrusted them. The distrust had been mutual, honestly. Being trusted wasn't something he'd known until recently. And Matteusz...he deserved to be thanked for everything he'd done for Charlie, honestly.

It had only been a few days, but Charlie already felt happier and...he felt healthier, too. The stress of his secrets and his past and all the death made him feel constantly ill and worried, but now some of it was gone.

Quill had gone out for the night, goodness knew where, and so Charlie had invite Matteusz round. They'd watched a film, eaten something, and now they were just...lying together. "Thank you," Charlie said suddenly, breaking the peaceful silence.

"Pardon?" Matteusz said, and he stopped moving his hand through Charlie's hair. Unable to stop himself, Charlie made a quiet noise of complaint, and Matteusz laughed before starting again.

"I said thank you. For everything you've done for me. I feel so much better now that I've got you..." He smiled, tightening his grip on Matteusz a little.

"Was your life before very hard?" Matteusz asked. "I understand if you do not want to talk about it. But sometimes you seem so sad and I want to help you."

Charlie paused, considering whether or not he should talk to Matteusz about his life. There was...well, there was an awful lot to say. "Everyone I ever knew is dead," he started in a whisper, and then he realised that he probably shouldn't start with something like that. Matteusz would probably get sick of his sadness very quickly.

"What?" Matteusz frowned, his arms closing tighter around Charlie. "What happened?"

"Lots of people hate us," he said, leaning closer to Matteusz's chest. He had tried not to think about this after it had happened. "And one of the guards for the facility told one of these groups how to get in. They killed everyone."

"Except you." Matteusz shifted so that they were both lying on their sides, and he pulled Charlie flat against him. "Sorry. That you had to see all of that, I mean."

"I knew half of the people there," he said. He'd spent half of his life with most of those people. "We were all...we were all angry about what was happening to us. They tried to turn us against each other and we tried to make sure it didn't work."

Matteusz didn't say anything to that, just rested his lips against Charlie's forehead and tightened his grip even more. It was comforting, it really was, to be held like this. He felt protected. He felt, in this moment, like nothing could destroy him. It was a powerful feeling, because most normal people set out to destroy his people in any way they could. Some of them stopped short of killing them and some didn't, but they were the same. They wanted to keep people like him away from wonderful people like Matteusz.

"I don't think I want to say any more at the moment..." Those words were barely above a whisper, but now Charlie tilted his head up to kiss Matteusz, needing the comfort, needing a distraction.

"You can take as long as you need to," Matteusz said, returning the kiss gently. Sometimes their kisses were passionate, but this one wasn't. Charlie often marvelled at how different kisses could be. Sometimes Matteusz was rough, or teasing, but other times he was so gentle and comforting.

"Thank you. Can we just...not talk for a little while?" Matteusz nodded his understanding and kissed Charlie again, and Charlie closed his eyes and lost himself in it. Right now he felt vulnerable, exposed, but he trusted that Matteusz would never take advantage of him.


End file.
